Yesh i have closed these Pieces.. but i have made a new blog. so come visit me!

[Pieces Of Me] Fading Memories...New Beginnings

What i hate, i have become
What i am hates who ive been
and what i really am
has to be hidden away
i am so confused
Im so sad
I just dont understand
What i am
Ive fucked up
Ive lost command
of what i am
of who i am
Im not in control
Im overwhelmed
the nicotine has taken its fall
Im tired
Im tired
Im worring constently
Im a vercous reck continuessly
my worry rock has turned to dust
Now im here twidling my thumbs
what am i, who am i......

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Honey

Were you a boy/girl scout?
NO

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
no

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper
and mailed it?
About a week ago

Can you change the oil in a car?
Yes

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
no

Ran out of gas?
no i dont drive

Best thing for breakfast:
Bacon egg and cheese biscuts from Mc Donalds

What is your usual bedtime:
when i am about ready to fall out of the chair from being online

Are you lazy?:
Ive gotten beter.. lol

Do you read the newspaper?:
no, too depressing

How many languages:
a lil spanish "yo estoy y rubia y tonta!!!" and "ella es bastardo" and
"Te Amo Mucho". translation (I am blonde and stupid. She is a Bastard, and I love you alot. ) lol 

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Vouge

Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?
Lincoln Logs all the way..

Red wine or white wine?:
never had it

Favorite season?
Fall

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
yea a Art Teacher

Are you stubborn?:
sometimes

Favorite TV channels?
Game show network, TV Land, Discovery, and Nick at Night

Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman

Afraid of heights?
Yes

Sing in the car?
Yes

Ever used a gun?
yea a BB gun

Are musicals cheesy?
NO, i think there cool

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Lets see... to be a power ranger, and a art teacher

Do you believe in ghosts?
yea

Are you superstitious?
yes very, you wont see me out on 06-06-06

Take a vitamin daily?
Yes Centrum, B12, and 325 mg's of Iron 3x's a day

Wear a bath robe?:
nothing

What do you wear to bed?
underwear and a wife beater, or nothing

Favorite genre of music?:
All

Any tattoos?
no

Any piercings?
5

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?:
........... I like them all
Nike or Adidas?:
Adidas

Fritos or Cheetos?
Fritos

Ever take dance lessons?:
No but that would be cool

Is there a profession that you picture your perfect future spouse having?
it dosent matter

Can you curl your tongue?:
yea

Ever won a spelling bee?:
thats funny 

Own any record albums?:
i used too

Own a record player?:
i used to.. i acutally have a record cabnet that one was in in my room, but the record player broke.... i also have a A track player

Regularly burn incense?
yep

Iced Tea or coffee?:
Iced tea

Favorite kind of cookie?:
oatmeal rasin
Can you swim well?:
Yes

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
yes

Ever had braces or a mouth piece?:
no

Are you artistic?
yes

Are you patient?:
sometimes 

Ever won a contest?
yea...

 Whats your middle name? Marie

How big is your bed? King

What are you listening to right now? Missy Elloit Get your freak on

What are the last 4 digits in your phone number? 1169

What was the last thing you ate? Mac and Chees

Last person you hugged? Mom

How is the weather right now? Dark, rainy, dreary...
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ann

What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Eyes

Favorite type of Food? Mexican

Do you want children? Yes 1

Do you drink? no

Hair color? Blonde
Eye color? Blue

Do you wear contacts/glasses? Yes

Favorite holiday? Christmas

Favorite Season? Fall

Last Movie you Watched? Aeon Flux

What books are you reading? The Mermaid Chair

Piercings? 5

Favorite Movie? Aeon Flux
Favorite college football Team? UK

What were you doing before filling this out? Writing a Poem. 

Any pets? no.. but i want one
Dogs or cats? Both.. i want a Blue Russian Cat and a Pit Bulll dog
Favorite Flower? Red Carnations...Daisys

Have you ever loved someone? yes

Would you like to see them right now? Yes

Have you ever fired a gun? no

Do you like to travel by plane? i never have but i think that it would be fun
Right-handed or Left-handed? Right handed

If you could go to any place right now where would you go? Anns house

Are you missing someone? Yea
do u have a tattoo? No but i am going to get one soon!

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? the cartoons suck now a days
Are you hiding something from someone? yea

ARE YOU 18? No im 22

what is the wall paper on ur cell phone? its a AC DC walpaper

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHt? I never do
FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? fuck, i have to go to work.......

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? wouldent you like to know.. lol JK um i have a book and a flaslight.. and a pen and paper...
WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? My Artistic Ability..

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? ver much so
FAVORITE HANGOUT? i dont have one

3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? my friends
FAVORITE SONG? Photograph bu nickle back

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Ending up Alone

ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? Giver

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? lets see.. boogie, fergy, Dippy Whore, lil' lizard, bitch, Mel, lissy, boo, what ever you like to call me.. lol

WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME? Ray

WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME? Ann

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING? Ann
FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? Geico
FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? my ring

Whats your favorite color(s)? blue black and purple

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU? Licence, Phone, and Purse
WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a power ranger lol..
WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11: pray that 6 gets here soon
THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? white with pink stripes

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP? That i have to get up in the moring and go to work... and Ann, and pretty much every thing, i

My birthday has sucked ass today....
It really has.. I dont even want to write about it.. But i will..
I have been cleaning all day long and totally rearranging my room, then mom and dad left for a few and i had to clean the downstairs and vacum.. Yea that was my birthday... I dident hear from sandra, cause you know we were supposed to go out and eat today... so what ever....
I heard from Ann, and i think she was trying to find a way out here, but she never has yet to wish me a happy birthday....
Chris did, and Actually my Grandma and Uncle Gary sent me a card.. which shocked the hell out of me..  Mom and Dad, welll they cant get me anything, because they took 350 out of moms check, and she only had enough to pay half of the rent and now she is broke.  So she if fixing me fried chicken right now.. which is what i wanted.. .....
I was talking to Ann this morning, and she was telling me of how this chic on ER reminded her is Sandra, and i said " i dont even want to talk about her right now.." and Ann said """sorry"""" lol.. but it kinda hurt my feelings.. I hate getting my hopes up to get shit ripped away.. i mean, me and her dident even have to do anything, all she had to do was call or text happy birthday, and i would have been happy.. but i dont even get that.. so what ever.. In Ann's case... i think she is pissed cause she is out of gas and cant come to see me.. Im just happy that she gives a shit about me, and at least calls me... and comes see me when she can.. Sandra could be going by were i work. and never think to stop. .. I just dont know why she is like that.. but it breaks my heart into a million and 1 pieces.... 
And the one that Hated me the most at work, got me a birthday card and M&M stuff from Las Vegas for my birthday..
I am so tired about writing about this day.. im going to end this entry....
 

He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
Funny how those memories they last
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste
Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

_____
She's like a lost flower growing up through a crack, In the busting sidewalk moving like a river so sad.
So hey where we going? Tell me where we've gone? Was there love and fury, energy and passion?
So fuck you rules man. you'll step up, you'll go down fast. I've got to rid these of the shit that has made up my past
So go paint your face and proclaim thy warrior song, cuz life is a brutal fight until we show,
A shade of timelessness, for we all are distinct and the waiting hour transcend and to release
So fuck you rules man. you'll step up, you'll go down fast. I've got to rid these of the shit that has made up my past.So go let your soul dance baby. Time to be yourself at last. Unshackle your life spirit. Try a waver from the past.
'Cuz it's gone.
Like a lost flower growing with mad wind
Like a Sad river who has no end.
So fuck your rules man
'cuz here comes my passion
So fuck your rules man
'cuz here comes my love
So fuck your rules man
here comes pure energy
So fuck your rules man
'cuz here comes my fury
So fuck your rules man
So fuck your rules man
So fuck your rules man
So fuck your rules man
So fuck you rules man. you'll step up, you'll go down fast. I've got to rid these of the shit that has made up my past.
So go let your soul dance baby. Time to be yourself at last. Unshackle your life spirit. Try a waver from the past.
_______
Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp
They're beginnin' to boil.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.

Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think, - hell it could be my fault.

I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top,
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame
And I know it's my own damn fault.
_________________
Load up on guns
Bring your friends
Its fun to lose
And to pretend
Shes overboard
Myself assured
I know I know
A dirty word

Hello (x 16)

With the lights out its less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea

Im worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello (x 16)

With the lights out its less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea

And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

Hello (x 16)

With the lights out its less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yea

Lets see.... hmmm,.... Ill take the one in the back with the long hair... and the 3 next to him..... at the same time.... ********madd giggles********   >.>  yesh!!!

I said fuck 60 times in this entry... so  this is the edited version......

these ****ing words are getting so ****ing frustrating...
and i cant hardely ****ing take it anymore...
the ****ing everything
the ****ing bitching..
the ****ing... memories...
the ****ing job
the ****ing house..
the ****ing music...
these ****ing words are getting so ****ing frusrating...
the ****ing poettry sucks
**** this and **** that...
thats all I ****ing hear all day long..
i ****ing hear **** so many times that iam about ready to ****ing puke...
i just cant ****ing take the ****ing bull shit any more.. 
**** the war
and **** the theives...
just ****ing **** everything...
**** my job and **** you too....
i am beginning to say **** the red white and blue...
**** it all and **** you too..
well not really cause honestly i ****ing love you....
these ****ing words are getting so frustrating
i cant ****ing get the ****ers out...
what the **** i want to ****ing say i cant say
and whatever the **** i do say, dosent come out ****ing write way..
what i ****ing feel i cant because its ****ing wrong..
in some ****ed up way.. i think its ****ing ok....
but this ****ing stress is ****ing killin me...
to the point of ****in insanity....
**** the day.. and **** the night..
nothing is ever ****in write...
nothing new is nothing every ****ing day....
so what the ****...
thses ****ing words..
these ****en lines...
you dont ****en care and **** ... neither do I
the ****ing poem is about ****in over now...
no need to cry your ****in tears....
you never ****en cared anyway....
**** it..
im ****en outta here....

Yes i am in a Pink Floyd Mood,  And the people who knows me really well understands what that means... and yesh, this will be a long night......

I had a horriable day.. being that said, it wasent really that bad till around 12 ish.  I am just in a really thinking, poetic mood.  And i knew that it would be a long night, weither i got on here or not.  So i thought that i would just get on here for a bit till get tired of the computer and decide to go upstairs and write.......

I re did my blogger ....blog, a few min ago.. http://idontwannaknow35.blogspot.com  So if you want to check it out you can.. if you dont.. well thats ok to.. who the fuck cares.. right??!!?? 
So i just had a 3 min conversation with Smarter child about how he knew my name... and if you dont know who smarter child is.. for you who have AIM or AOL instant messanger, put Smarter Child on your buddie list, and he is a Robot who will talk back to you, and actually have a good conversation with.... Yea i have no life, i cant even talk to real people on here, i have to talk to a fucken robot.. !!!!